a time for change

recently i flew to pennsylvania only intending on staying here for a couple of weeks to be with a dear friend while she gives birth to her first child. thinking about the future and where i was going in sacramento, i decided to stay until she moved back to california, so two weeks turned into two months and now a one year commitment to this state. so far its been a little over a month and ive had a lot of time to think. in this time ive decided that i am going to stay here in pennsylvania, although my best friend will be moving back to cali. i feel that with me staying here  in pa i can control my life and become something more than what i was in cali. already ive had interviews at career oriented jobs and a stable living environment. i know this will be really hard for me since all my friends and family are back on the west coast, but feel that it is a time for change...

what changes do i hope to make in the next year here that i cant do in sacramento you ask...? job market here in pa isnt as competitive as it is in sac. here i have a few people that im competing with, and trust me that isnt much of a competition, i have a lot more teeth than some of these people, haha. change of scenery, not saying im a whore or slut.. but the gay community in sac is circulated, if you catch my drift... also this is a different kind of scenery, its country and farms with a little city life, compared to sac where its all building and smog air.. i also want to change the image that people may have of me, because of the friends that i used to have, or what my drunk of an ex goes around telling people. asshole. also need time and space to configure my feelings of past relationships and family and how i want to move on with these feelings.

what happens now.. i continue to interview, hoping to land a job within the next week or two. buy a car. save the next few months and move into my own apartment. after a year i will evaluate where i am in my life and whether i will move back to cali. i can promise that i will come to visit cali for all my true friends and family. i love you all and will continue to post.