The Anger Inside

the feelings i get when i look back in my childhood consist of anger, sadness, lonely, depressed... there are some happy feelings. why do i feel this way? growing up with foster parents and never truly knowing my own parents, is hurtful. some people ask where i come from. i came from a broken home, both parents being deaf and heavily into drugs, not having a care in the world. sometimes i imagine what life would be like if they were responsible adults. my father died when i was 13. he died of a drug and alcohol overdose. sometimes i wish i was the only one affected by all of this, but all eight of my moms kids had to go through this. my older brother is constantly in jail, selling drugs and himself is a drug addict. he has kids and never sees them because of his horrible habit. as for the rest of us kids we live semi normal lives. in a way im glad it all happened. it has made me a better person today for it. sometime i do believe that it was all part of a ultimate plan of a higher being.