midnight tears and all i want is sleep

for some reason i cant sleep. all i can think of is the horrible dream i had last night and all the good memories that ive had and how they all seem so unreal. the dream; found out i was hiv poz and flew back to california and cut my wrists right in front of my best friend. the meaning behind that? i have no fricken clue! (for the record im neg) the memories; good ones with lovers, and how i felt no pain and all the worries of the world were gone. reality check; im single, lonely and miss everyone.